god damn it, how

do i forget it's fuckin' Wedneesday? It's not anymore. I think my roommate, who's a d-bag, was waiting til after midnight to come tell me I'd forgotten. So in tribute to my own date-forgetting douchebaggery, and before hitting the sack, I give you a post-Wednesday lyric,

mc chris
Eatings Not Cheating

I'm like Kenny Rogers in Six Pack
Girls won't give my dick back
All this sex affects my syntax
The pistol I pack's impact

Make's you gasp infact
So sit back, relax
While I grind this axe
On your Brazillian wax

Without finishing fast
I bask in the slash
Underneath your cinnamon ass
About ten minutes it lasts

I pull it out and pass gas
My name is MC Chris
Kinda cute
Kinda crass

Ladies love me sending pics
Where they're scantily clad
Send some back
Then invite them to come crash at my pad

They're like
O M G, Oh whut up, that'd be so rad
We make the beast with two backs
Until we both get whiplash

Get with the program
Strip to the slow jam
Slip on a Trojan
Kissin' the toes and

Move to the knees
Go back, repeat
The job ain't done
'Til you ruin the sheets

My name is MC
And your name is a creep
Because you creep into my bed
About every week

Tractor beam on my bed
Got you actin' le freak
Tractor beam on my bed
Got you actin' le freak

I should be flirtin' with virgins
Instead of jerkin' my gerkin
I should be working the circuit
Assertive for certain

With little aversion
They all open they curtains
Mini-Me starts emergin
To be rid of his burden

Did I fail to mention
All the ladies say word
Got a panty collection
Like a Japanese perv

They're prepared to purr
And to serve up they curves
I skip the main course
I prefer the hors d'overs

I like thongs, like grannies
Like any old panties
Hanging on the lampshades
As I tap on her back space

I like bows, like lace
Like suckin' her face
I like fuckin' her waist
I make a bucket of paste

When her eyes roll back
It means her memory's erase
Slow-mo, tip-toe
My ass out of her place

I quickly run to the clinic
A q-tip in my dick
I wait two very long weeks
To know if these nuts need a medic
So c'mon

Get with the program
Strip to the slow jam
Slip on a Trojan
Kissin' the toes and

Move to the knees
Go back, repeat
The job ain't done
'Til you ruin the sheets

My name is MC
And your name is a creep
Because you creep into my bed
About every week

Tractor beam on my bed
Got you actin' le freak
Tractor beam on my bed
Got you actin' le freak

One of the funniest songs ever fucking made.