oy

i think i've come up with a method, a method to get through the nights. i cannot vouch for its originality...i believe it's one that's been employed for eons. but that very staying power makes me believe that it's viable. it seems i can get through day and week and year and month by simply erasing myself, erasing my person, with either drink or whatever else comes available. i know it sounds terribly dramatic, but in reality it's not, the idea is simply a reaction, like recoiling when you're injured, to an untenable circumstance.
it's similar, in a lot of respects, to watching someone's blood drain out from a deep wound held tightly, manically, by the wounded. you see that rich black blood drop out, a glob at a time, spattering, and it's one day. then the next drop, another day.
the holder of this terrible pact is dead, but they don't know it, or decide to fight it, despite the fact of the inevitable victory of that oozing despot.
or, shit, it might just be the vodka talking