Reason #654322567

Why George W. Bush is the biggest spooge-ball to slide down the side of a wank-booth since his daddy left the White House.

"People have access to health care in America," he told an audience in Cleveland. "After all, you just go to an emergency room."

What he's basically advocating is a system whereby everything breaks. Health care breaks...hospitals break....social systems break...our nation, which is seeming pretty broken already, breaks again, into tiny chunks. It's easier to be big and rich on a tiny chunk of America, which you can hide or defend from the poor weak brown and smelly masses.
What we have in W is not an aberration. It's the final, inevitable consequence of a rotten to the core system of crony capitalism as well as capitalism by privilege. He himself is a product of lying wealth, dealing with enemies, and class warfare, all the while professing hatred for the same.
It's safe to say that the opposite of anything Bush says is what he intends. So when he says he wants to keep you safe...look out.

rare saturday lyric

UPDATE: a midi file for the song. Ryan swore up and down he could make it fit on a guitar. Honest. No, really.
okay. anyone who hasn't read terry pratchett's "discworld" books, or reads this post and doesn't immediately read one, has officially lost at least 50% of the respect that i had for them. if i have much to begin with, that can be a crippling blow.

The Hedgehog Song
Nanny Ogg


"Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all creatures, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 1:
The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The result I think you'll find will appall:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 2:
The spines on his back are so awful thick
you'll end up with naught but a painful prick.
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
Will be entertaining to both her and you
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 1
A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 2

You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill,
It's amazing how humping a camel will thrill
You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 1
You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night
With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite
We already mentioned the horse, you recall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 2

You can roger a skunk if you can stand the smell
Or even an oyster, should he let go of his shell
A troll can be rocky if down you should fall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 1
For slippery fun, you can cornhole an otter
Or pego a pig after parting his trotters
Or tumble a tapir, though the prospect appall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 2

For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
The lemurs cry "Frink!" as a coy mating call
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 1
Antipodean pranks -- you can futter a wombat
Or strive with a 'roo in venereal combat
Or hump a goanna -- go on, do it all
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 2
A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
Or try on a rhino if you fancy a bruising,
Or mountin' a mountain goat (careful, don't fall!)
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

lee rix

Dinosaur Jr.
Green Mind
"Blowin' It"
youtube.com seach. myspace

I been thinking through the night
Everybody's so uptight
People hurt and that's their right
Cut 'em all loose, think I might
Stewin', hangin' out in town
And my head whirlin' around
Don't trust your mind, it'll let you down
Don't have a thing to go on
I don't know a thing to say to you
I don't know a thing to say to you
There's a time and there's a place
It's not now, it's time to pace
Things I'd say but just can't face
All it means to say them
I could believe the things I feel
Then tomorrow get the same deal
Am I acting on something real?
Or am I blowing it again?
I don't know a thing to say to you
I don't know a thing to say to you
I don't know a thing to say to you
I don't know a thing to say to you

You can listen to all the songs on their new album "Beyond" on their website, or their myspace page.
One time, i had the shirt for this album on at the Fox Photo across from SMHS, and the chick behind the counter took one look at me and got panty-twistitis to such a degree her head nearly popped off. "don't you think that send the wrong message to children, that it's ok to smoke?" I was taken aback...where the hell did that come from? But i rallied, and asked her if she thought maybe someone's parents had more to do with it than a tshirt some malnourished moron was wearing. She sniffed angrily at me. i gave her the over-the-shoulder finger on my way out the door. I like that move. one of these days i'm going to get nailed in the back of the head by a mug of toasty cocoa or somethingsimilar for my adios-finger. ah well, the price we pay to communicate in a way we wish.

so funny

This strip is hilarious, by the way.

wow

never been here, but nice post.

Assuming that all uninsured sick children have the same kind of trust fund that Georgie had, Bush explains his rationale for denying health care and cutting off funding to the CHIP program.

"I support the initial intent of the program," Bush said in an interview with The Washington Post after a factory tour and a discussion on health care with small-business owners in Landover. "My concern is that when you expand eligibility . . . you're really beginning to open up an avenue for people to switch from private insurance to the government."
Bravely misunderstanding the arguments of communist sympathizers like Sen. Grassley (R-Iowa) and Sen. Hatch (R-Utah), Bush continues to protect the delicate market system from the freeloading terror of poor kids with diseases.

In a seemingly unrelated story, the cost of the war in Iraq is now $444,519,508,302.

quick recap

this is the way it is. Via PZ, natch.

Fundamentalists: believe 2+2 =5 because It Is Written. Somewhere. They have a lot of trouble on their tax returns.

"Moderate" believers: live their lives on the basis that 2+2=4. but go regularly to church to be told that 2+2 once made 5, or will one day make 5, or in a very real and spiritual sense should make 5.

"Moderate" atheists: know that 2+2 =4 but think it impolite to say so too loudly as people who think 2+2=5 might be offended.

"Militant" atheists: "Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?"

(props to Stephen Wells.)

forgot! lyric!

This band was on an episode of Scrubs. I apologize for NOTHING.

Section 9 (Light & Day / Reach For The Sun)
The Polyphonic Spree

Light
And day
Is more than you’ll say
Cause all
My Feelings
Are more
Than I can let by
Or not
It's more than you’ve got
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!
You don’t see me fly into the red - one more you’re done
Just follow the seasons and find the time
Reach for the bright side
You don’t see me fly into the red - one more you’re nuts
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!
You don’t see me fly into the red – one more you’re done
Just follow the seasons and find the time
Reach for the bright side
You don’t see me fly into the red – one more you’re nuts
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!

pope ain't no monkey

I was searching for something totally unrelated, and i noticed the phrase "the pope ain't no monkey!" and it got me thinking, and then my brain kind of garthed out and i ended up on some totally random pathway thinking about chimps and whatnot, and remembered what i was doing but not why, and somehow ended up with this:

Irregardlessly, i think it's a good idea to continue to keep the evangelicals suspcious of catholics and jews, which they do anyways because they're crazy-assed idiot religions tell them to, for the purpose of diluting their mindless borg-powers. i bet if you sold bumperstickers that say "the pope ain't tellin me how to pray!!!!1!" with like a picture of a .45 on em, you'd be a millionaire.
Or something like. I don't ever want to miss a chance to make fun of religion.

dude! my stones!

the bible is funny as shit:

23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Ahah! baby, i love what you do to my privy member! I'm sure ancient moabites said that. The Skeptic's Annotated Bible is kickass, I'm surprised I don't remember seeing it already. Of course, I'm old and my memory is going. What?

wanking with my tracker

lookit this!

Visitor Detail
clayton.state.gov
IP Address 169.252.4.21
Date 11 Jul, Wed, 22:57:29
Net Speed Corporate/T1
Organization U.S. Department of State
Browser MSIE 6
Continent North America
Operating System Windows XP
Country United States
State / Region Virginia

US State Department? WTFˆˆ? Hokay.
Who dis?

pc121310.med.cornell.edu
IP Address 140.251.46.102
Date 12 Jul, Thu, 06:17:51
Net Speed Cable/DSL
Organization Joan and Sanford I. Weill Medical College and Grad

I'm totally #8 on yahoo for Party party join us or something like that. Rock out.

lyric and good pandagon post

This post utterly rules. Not only is the subject matter stupid social conservative BS, and the commentary on it spot-on, but the comments thread afterwards rocks. If you don't regularly read Pandagon, you should.

Since tomorrow's a bizarre mid-week day off, I thought I'd put up a lyric today, and since I have Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" stuck in my head like a tumor (maybe that's where lyrics that stick in my dome come from), I thought I'd inflict it on you too.

Chicago
You're the Inspiration
Chicago 17
(1984, P. Cetera/D. Foster)

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring felling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more that I need you

And i know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And i know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart in my soul

They don't have the goofy "When you love somebody/ til the end of time" at the end, possibly the lamest call-and-response in recorded history. Oh wait, here's a videogame with a totally even-more-retarded version of this song. NICE! Yay! Birthday cake!

No.

It doesn't concern me.

No more than any other quackery or made-up gibberish concerns me.
From the General.