funny comic

sho nuff

almost made wednesday

Kyle Gass
On lead guitar
On lead
Hey, I call em like I see 'em and man
there's a lot of possible
Back-stage Betties...in the audience tonight.
Hey,
That's the first thin' I say to you.
How's it goin'? Are you flowin'?
Listen honey,
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you,
Showin', growin',
Man I'd like to place my hand
upon your fuckin' sexy ass and squeeze.
And squeeze!

Take off your blouse,
And your underpants,
Then take a look,
'Cause here me and KG come naked,
Out of the side-hatch,
With the oils and perfume and incense.
Now you're groovin',
Put on a cool '70s groove.
A funky groove to fuck to.
A funky groove to fuck to.

Me, me and KG,
It's all about sex supreme,
We likes to cream jeans. (sex)
Have you ever been worked on
By two guys who are hot for your snatch? (sex)
That's what I'm offerin' you.
You step into our room,
And then you smell the perfume,
You lay upon our roundish bed,
And then you feel a tickling on your head.
It's KG with the feather and the French tickler,
Look out baby he got the tools.
And then you feel sumpin' down by your feet.
It's me, it's JB, I'm suckin' upon your toes.

We don't mind sucking on toes!
Good luck finding a boyfriend who sucks toe, ow!
Havin' sex with me and KG,
Now you're talkin' double team
supreme.

holy olbermann!

Keith Olbermann spends 12 minutes or so eviscerating the McCain campaign, and the insane old man himself. I almost felt sorry for the ol' piece of shit.

It's a two-parter so be sure to watch the second. Even if you just listen...it's pretty awesome to hear someone actually tell a politician to stop being such an total assclown.

rude pundit

rules

According to the transcripts from CNN and his own website, Rick Warren did not play fair with the presidential candidates. The first question Rick Warren asked John McCain was not the first question that he asked Barack Obama. They are immensely different. Warren quoted Proverbs and then asked Obama, "Who are the three wisest people you know in your life, and who are you going to rely on heavily in your administration?" Asked two separate questions, framed by biblical "wisdom," Obama gave two separate answers, one personal, one political.

Warren asked John McCain, "Who are the three wisest people that you know that you would rely on heavily in an administration?" That's not just different phrasing. That's an entirely different question. Warren did not preface his query to McCain with a Bible verse. So the context and the actual question were not the same as for Obama. McCain could more easily give his military guy, black guy, and woman answer.

It'd be like asking one orgy participant, "Whose ass do you want to fuck first, and do you want snacks?" and asking another, "Whose ass do you want to eat snacks out of?" The activities are significantly different.

indeed they are.

my...my brain. it's exploding

John McCain is fucking insane. He's crazy. He's stupid crazy. The guy makes crazy people look sane. He's got so many bats in his belfry that the only fuckin place in this fucking country that has no problem moving real estate is in his fucking belfry, because there are so many god damn bats wanting to fucking move in there they're driving up property values to California-esque levels, like when I bought my condo. But these bats have an advantage: they'll still want to be in McCain's motherfucking crazy-assed belfry, while most people aren't touching Cali real estate with their friend's dicks tied to a twelve foot fuckin pole.
What other amusing shit can I compare McCain's insanity to? I feel almost like I'm doing a disservice to history by laughing at John Fucking Insane McCain's Home-brewed Insanity(R) instead of just pointing and screaming like a god damned pod person who's caught sight of a "normal".
You know, were Mel Blanc to still be alive, he'd be busy animating Bugs Bunny at HD resolutions spinning through hilarious signs illustrating mental illness...Screw + Ball, Crack + Pot, etc. He'd spin through those bitches so fast it would produce an eternal energy source for our nation to take advantage of.
I don't know if I'm getting through how crazy I think that senile fuck is. I really need to get through on this point.

no fuckin way

John McCain is apparently on a mission to prove that anyone who thought he was a crazy, delusional coot was really, really right. Says J-Mac:

"in the 21st century nations don't invade other nations."

Really, just absorb that one for a bit. Mr. "We'll stay in Iraq 100 years" says that.

It just...nearly breaks your head, doesn't it?

god damn the internet

among the thousands and thousands of horrible things the internet has done, totally ass-raping perfectly useful words has gotta be near the top of the list. for instance, i can't use the word facial anymore. or furry.
god damn you internet.

palast on energy

not only does he find the truth, he says it in a clear and understandable way.
here's mccain and obama on nukes.

McCain's ready to spend a hundred billion dollars on nuclear power, no questions asked. But Barack Obama puts a crucial condition on his approval for building new nuke: an affordable method of disposing the new plants' radioactive waste.

That's not small stuff. While The New York Times reporters following McCain repeated his line about "inexpensive" nuclear power without question, a buried wire story on the same day noted that the Energy Department is putting the unfunded bill for disposing nuclear plant waste at $96.2 billion – nearly a billion dollars per plant operating today. And no one even knows exactly how to do it, or where. Obama has the audacity to ask about the nuclear waste's cost. "Can we deal with the expense?" he said on Meet the Press.

Go read everything he's got. send him some money too. no one will publish they guy in the states. he's...radioactive. radioactive with the truth. (groan)

just remember

if you think mccain represents anything other than more o' the same:


not that obama makes me think "hey! the constitution is back, baby!, but he's a lot closer than that dangerously insane old man is.

home home home

about 2000 miles and two weeks later i'm home. colorado is fun, but i missed sea level. plus the fam starts to get a little snappy with each other and catches a bad case of drama-itis. it causes me bowel control problems.